Quick to Love

Quick to Love: God You've Created Us

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2)

You're probably thinking, "another blog about love, I've already heard this." I hope that you're surprised.

With Christmas break allowing me to have more free time than usual, my mind has had a chance to think more thoroughly. Writing is very intimate and I love how I seek to write in such a formal way when I'm a very informal person. I promise that I'll try to incorporate a little humor to ease your reading.

I believe that love is misunderstood. I know I misunderstand love constantly. Every day I battle pride. If I understood love then I would not complain when life appears to be complicated because I know the Lord who promises His control. Love is not a friend of loneliness, but contentment, encouragement, truthfulness, life, and true joy! Currently in my life, the Lord is teaching me how to have joy, not happiness. I've been cursed with being called "too happy" and I have to admit, it is true because happiness has limitations but joy is everlasting. It's all about Christ.

• My ears will never hear enough music but hearing Christ through every chord will bring me Joy.
• I will never say, "Food, you've lost your spark, I don't like you anymore" but tasting God's goodness will bring me Joy.
• Though I've never been the aspiring athlete, I can definitely testify that the adventures of sports will never complete my steps but the adventure of Christ will bring me Joy.
• A relationship whether it be through friend, family, or marriage will never satisfy my soul but seeing and seeking Christ through those relationships will bring me Joy.
• Knowledge of theology, doctrine, history, fiction, film, and music will never fill my mind with ecstasy enough to last but the knowledge and wisdom of Christ will bring me Joy.
  

We want to live a meaningful life so we gather, collect, celebrate, and enjoy material things in life. I'm not trying to sound disgusted the human race or material things that God can bless our lives with but if we really seek what the Lord teaches, we would be satisfied in Him. Too many times life consumes me; I am made for things that are eternal, not material. Scripture tells me to " Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy" (1 Corinthians 14:1). To follow love is to follow Christ, His example, His truth, His wisdom, His will. Recently the Lord showed me how to love him with my eyes closed, my selfish desires sacrificed. I've never been so amazed, the Lord is alive!

Concerning Corinthians however, if I really want to follow the way of love, strive for spiritual gifts and prophecy, then the things of this earth will begin to lose their luster. In the past week there have been a few times where I've lost something and God has told me, "Caroline, if you lost everything, would you still love me?" The Lord calls us to love him at all costs, I'm learning. I'm so blessed to even be able to communicate with the Lord. He doesn't always speak, we have to be willing to listen. Consider these verses and how we has humans trade what our awesome God has to offer for a lie.

I encourage you to love the Lord and know Him more than you know yourself. Life awaits you woo hoo!

In Jeremiah chapters one through three God speaks of the Israelites:

2:11 "Has a nation changed its gods, even thought they are not gods? But my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit."

2:22 "Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me, declares the Lord God.

3:11-14 " Return faithless Israel, declares the Lord. I will not look on you in anger for I am merciful, declares the Lord; I will not be angry forever. Only acknowledge your guilt that you rebelled against the Lord your God and scattered your favors among foreigners under every green tree, and that you have not obeyed my voice; declares the Lord.

CMT's Can You Duet?

Hello Friends! I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas and New Years. I've had a wonderful break so far. I just wanted to let you in one the excitement because I'll be auditioning for CMT's Can You Duet on January 12th. A friend of mine, Tanner Dalton asked me to join this little adventure with him and of course I said YES! I've had trouble sleeping ever since, I can't wait! I'll let you know of any updates! Thanks for being a fan! Caroline

finially I found the tall trees of middle Tennessee

Finally! The search is over. The one complaint that I have with middle Tennessee is that here aren't enough tall trees. Prayer after prayer, the Lord brought the trees to me today! It's a secret location, for me and the Mr. I haven't met maybe; but i finally found them! They were so beautiful oh my goodness, I miss the shelter they provide. Where I grew up, there were so many trees that on some days I thought I would never see the sky again. You never saw squirrels on the ground because they were always in the trees! Bare with this Hippie moment in my life. Entertain yourself.

But today, on a little adventure that I had, yes a silent one (still on vocal rest) I had quite a scary experience. I was walking along this trail and carrying my survival kit consisting only of a crazy-creek chair, bible, notebook, camera, phone, and pen. If I was stranded I couldn't call anyone but the holy spirit, and for the hippie out there yes; my inner-being through my journal. But one thing's for certain, I would have a cushioned bottom and plenty of pictures! I do not like how this beautiful stream I found, with bugs, minnows, and birds spiraling around in sound... was so desolate. It was so beautiful but I didn't see or have anyone to enjoy it with... I want people to enjoy it!! I guess that's how God must feel.. He created it.. He wants us to enjoy it. It really humbles me to smell the leaves and the water instead of fast-food that does anything but digest fast. Yucko mucko!

Hardly anyone was back there, it was so undiscovered. We were created in the garden and the wilderness. Why do we hardly ever go there? I want to take a few years off and live in the grass, but then I realize I would be chicken all alone and the reputation of a hippie would never escape me. Maybe one day when there's a mighty man that wants to tag along. I'll keep my fingers crossed. But when we do venture outdoors, why do we have to bring a survival kit with us... granola, water, pillows, etc. Oh I think it's hilarious! Haa! God made us in the dirt and when we go back to our origin we bring ...props? As if we have to act out life in our natural inhabitance? Act out something that should be natural? Silly. It's like love almost, if we are Christians then love should come naturally because God is love, yes? But why do I feel like it's such an act sometimes. Oh, we're all very good at acting. Well, my brain's exploding. It was just so beautiful today.

The birds were not the usual brown, they were reds and blues. What a gift. They were happy birds too! Usually the birds I have met attack my cat; I do not enjoy them at all. I look up at the sky with my eyebrows crossed wishing I had a bee bee gun to shoot them down! Haa, not really but Pepper, she was eaten by a dog three years ago so the birds win! They always win because they get to fly away if they're in trouble!! Silly birds.

Anyways, besides the fact that I am the master of tangents... I had the urge to finish the trail that I found. Scared, and wearing inappropriate shoes, I walked along with my supplies and decided not to be scared of the unknown. (Failed gloriously by the end, oh please keep reading it's funny. )Even though the cracks and pops of the sticks and thorns around me made me jump a few times... I was going to go all the way back to the end of where ever this trail led! No matter what! And yes, I pretended I was in Nicaragua again, being chased by some animal, I wouldn't have to pretend long though. In a previous blog, I told you how my dreams come true... well today they did again. The trail got narrower and narrower, until all I saw was the red of the thin scrapes on my feet; all worth the adventure and story of course. My brain heard a growl; thinking it was only my imagination I kept walking, the stream getting wider and wider! I had to be close! You would think that I would be warned enough by the remnants of homeless people including an old broken TV, beer cans, and tires I saw but no, I must venture forth! I heard another growl that reflected images of the dog in "The Sand Lot" in my brain. Was it real? YES! Then, I heard a man's voice say, "who is that, who's back there? Go get it...Scruffy!" Of course I don't remember the actual dog's name but if I had a dog it would be named Scruffy! AAAAH I've never been so scared!!

Scruffy was chasing me!!! I was running, he kept chasing? What in the world was happening, my dreams came true again! Some wild dog that I'm sure had steam coming out of it's nostrils was chasing me and my crazy-creek chair, my camera, my phone, notebook... pretty hair-do or perfume couldn't do anything to help. For all I knew I was going to end up on unsolved mysteries. "Girl found dead on a trail attacked by Scruffy!" Hopefully from my car in the park- parking lot, they would recognize my love for Elvis from my Elvis license plate!

Oh but I ran, and ran and did not look back once! Finally Scruffy disappeared and I had a chance to laugh and catch my breath. What in the world was I supposed to think about this one? Wow. As soon as I came back to normal, I heard something crackling in the sticks near me. I laughed because whatever was in this brush, couldn't be as bad as the giant dog I had just escaped, no.. DEFEATED HA HA! Soon, my eyes fell upon none other than a black cat!! God's way of saying "Happy Halloween?" I don't know. But I didn't think it was too funny. The cat was very stereotypical and ran away like a scardy-cat. I've never met a cat that was different. They're so unoriginal!!

But, after my crazy but amazing adventure I began to ponder on the "Why?" Yes, I like to dig meaning out of it all. Every bit of life. Here we go.. are we running from our natural habitat? Our creator? How silly was I to run from a dog... it could have been a nice dog! But, I was afraid of the unseen. Where was my faith? Why was there a black cat? Where was my trust? Jesus was just reviving me when I was sitting my His stream and watching the minnows and birds and then the second things get scary.. or Scruffy haa.. I run! I'm terrified. What is your Scruffy? Ok that's a little silly but really, why are we so scared? Why are we so defeated? True story, I wish I was a bird so I could just be pretty and fly.. but that wouldn't be enough. That's ridiculous. Christ has given me strength and a purpose for living and it doesn't involve fear. Or Scruffy. It involves life. No cell-phone, computer, or hair-do will save anyone... ultimately. It's all about Jesus... pretty cool huh? Jesus.... what a man.

Be Alive

I'm on my second week of silence. Silence isn't so bad, espcially when you're blessed with friends who still talk to you. A few acquaintances have the tendency to shy away from me when I enter a room with my little dry erase board; but most treat me like a normal human being. A friend of mine thought that I was silently protesting for some sort of grand idea that I had, he's the only one with grand ideas. Other surrounding peers assume I am deaf. It's very interesting to see the variety of looks that I receive from different classmates. I don't bother with trying to convince them otherwise, I like to be alienated sometimes, espcially when I am not what someone's assuming. This whole month of silence has definitley ignited so many thoughts in my brain though. I hate that this world has come to a place where nothing is sacred; case in point, I'm currently displaying my private thoughts to you right now over the world wide web. However, I enjoy writing and sharing so here we are.

I've been spending more time alone than I every have in my life and it has become more of a friend than I thought. Since I'm not capable of being the social butterfly that I usually delight in being, no one really calls because I can't talk. Don't feel sorry for me though. There's no need for sympathy because the Lord has promised us in Proverbs 18:24- A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I've never had a brother before but I do have four sisters and I know the circle that encompases the word companion. The Lord surely keeps His word, He's close.

While the Lord is close and pressing on my heart, I feel very alive. I function when I'm at school. I function when I'm with friends. I function at work. I exist when I communicate. I function when I'm enjoying a meal.... but it isn't until I meditate and sign to the Lord that I feel alive. Revelation 3:1 states: I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead." What has fooled me this far in life? Why was I fooled that life is only found in fun, life is only found in company, food, music, smell, touch, taste, voice? I was lied to and I am so grateful that Christ has offered me the truth about life. Life is Christ. It soudns simple but it's not until you can see the things aroudn you as just simply strange that you will see life in Christ. My Lord has brought this old hymn to mind over the past month and it's haunted me. You can read it below.I encourage you to read it not as a song... someone telling you the truth.

This hymn, that unfortunately reminds me of a very bitter experience with my childhood church, has life in it. The line that simply states,"and the thigns of earth will grow strangly dim in the light of His glory and grace," has made more sense now than it ever will to me. I was just standing in my room, about to go to sleep and I thought about how many tedious times I wil climb into a bed and fall asleep in this lifetime. It's insain to think about day after day on the same land, and how quickly it passes. Everything around me is changing, inconsistent, and I'm so blessed. Don't misunderstand; I enjoy and appreciate the gift of life but there's so much more!! I have dreams and hopes for a family, a singing career, a home, maybe a dog? But, I just laugh at all this becasue there's so much more... there's life eternal!!! I pray that I never get used to life here becasue I'll never be satisfied. Praise God!!

TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS :Words & Music by Helen Lemmel.
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There is light when you look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free.

So turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

His word shall not fail you,
He promised,Believe Him and you will be well;
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell.

Just turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Vocal rest...

Hello again!

Here's what the Doctor said: I have vocal nodules again!!

Nodules are like blisters on your vocal chords and the only way to get rid of them is to stop talking. So, that is what i must do for 4-6 weeks. I am certainly going to still write blogs but this should be an interesting time of silence for me.

Previously i had vocal rest in high school for 2 and a half weeks so i'm prepared but this wil be twice as long. Although I am sad, i know that everything happens for a reason and i'm excited to see what God will show me! Enjoy speaking though, what a blessing. :)

Walk with the King

Nodules

Hello everyone.! Thank goodness for Blogs because i may not be able to speak for 6 weeks. Haa! well, I hope you're having a good day today. I just wanted to write a quick blog to inform anyone who stumbles upon this, that I am going to the doctor today to find out if i have nodules on my vocal chords.

Nodules are like blisters on your vocal chords; they're pretty serious, and in some cases can turn into cancer. I had them in high school and i had to go on a vocal-rest ( no talking, whispering, etc) for two and half weeks. needless to say, it wasn't very fun but some people thought it was entertaining! I felt like i was the little mermaid haa.

Either way, today i am journeying to the wonderful ear, nose, and throat doctor to find out if i will have to go on a vocal rest for 6 weeks. I'll also have the pleasure of a nice, big, camera, stuck down my throat. I can't wait! I know that God's will will be done! This is exciting actually, I'll let you know the results!

Walk with the King

Flying: Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Cor 3:17

What a gift God has given us; dreaming! Why do we dream though? A lot of my dreams come true, so I'm beginning to think there is a purpose for dreams.But, I'm having repeated dreams about flying! According to a "dream dictionary" this is what it's supposed to mean:

To dream that you are flying, signifies a sense of freedom where you had initially felt restricted and limited. Flying as a spontaneous event often includes some special effort, like flapping one's arms, to get going.(I do flap my arms in my dreams!!) These events are precipitated by a strong desire to travel or an imminent danger that requires escape.This may be related to astral projection or an out-of-body experience that some people undergo.

I'm very intrigued by this. But, astral projection; sounds like throwing up!! Haa, I don't know if that description fits my case. I do see how it may signify a sense of freedom where you had initially felt restricted. God is leading me in a different direction this year and I've never felt so free. Almost every night I dream about flying and soaring through the sky of my campus, imaginary places, and oceans. It's awesome except waking up and being bound to the floor. One time, flying in my old back yard, I got stuck in a huge drift in the sky! I couldn't get down! I was carried in the air all the way to Charleston, South Carolina. I love Charleston so I decided to walk around the city and I found myself in a Jazz club... it was amazing! I remember some man finding me and taking me back to downtown Knoxville. I wish I could go back but dreams are always better as dreams.

I was thinking about how much I daydream today. I've stopped expecting my daydreams to be as special as real life because my imagination is too detailed. For example, when I day dream about the home I'm going to grow old in; we'll focus on the wood in the house. The wood has a distinct perfume to it, knots made as my family expands and scrapes, stains that were cried over, holes that were pressed to hold family portraits, and of course the wood of the piano will not be tainted by the smallest speck of dust!! Not to mention the ever so romantic wood that is burning in the fireplace because I don't believe in natural gas. As you see, my dreams are most likely better than the stinky house that I'll eventually inhabit.

Anyways, all of this to say that after having these repeated dreams about flying, I have these huge urges to fly all day long!! Yes, I feel like Jenny from Forrest Gump. Until I was in high school i thought Forrest Gump was Forrest Dump... why would anyone want to see a movie about a dump?? haa..

But on a serious note: 2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

I think that freedom is something that I am being called to experience. Not only in my dreams but in life. I am free because Christ set me free. We are created to love the LORD, to do His will, and to share His word. The only time we will feel free is when we obey these commands. That's what this life is about.. and I can't wait to stop wasting time and effort being concerned with anything else.

Don't forget to fly

Today

good afternoon! today i was teaching my second day of piano lessons and i realized how much i need to get into character. see, in life you need to be some sort of character in every situation. i think deciding who you are and where you stand in every situation helps you find out who you'll become and i love theater so anytime i can act, i will; of course in good intention and honesty. not to mention building character. but this is different. for instance, this afternoon i realized that i could be more of a piano teacher if i gathered some props. see, i took piano in first grade and i loved it because yes, you guessed it; my teacher was such a character! come with me as i describe her and...pardon a little exaggeration but i think it's necessary. she has the goofiest poofiest white cloud of hair that could be mistaken for cotton candy. it was always styled the same way. maybe one fine day a handsome fellow complimented her and her hair has insisted upon never changing it's style. she had the reddest lipstick that always managed to sneak up on her teeth as if it was it's goal in life. She even had the strong perfume that smelled up the whole room and made it hard to breath, and hard to forget. I loved the way she taught though because she made me think that i was going to be Mozart or at least some sort of Schroeder (that little piano boy in Charles Schultz's Peanuts, Snoopy.. such a jazzy cartoon that's why it's my favorite. this sounds like the next blog topic.)

but back to my piano teacher; she was just marvelous. She knew how to be a character. It's almost as if she decided that her goal in life was to be a piano teacher and to receive every pin of a piano and apple for her sweater sets. now there's nothing wrong with this but me; jack of all trades master of none... i just don't see the point in only one passion. other than Jesus that is. oh gosh but she even had a special pointer stick to follow each note on the page. it probably had her initials on it. either way it made each and every note she pointed to seem like royalty, dainty, and unique. oh and the stickers! other than my trip to the best snack machine ever (always against my mother's rules) the stickers were my favorite part of piano. i remember i had this strange obsession with cats and Elvis Presley. I was ashamed to tell her of my long lost lover so all of my mastered pieces including the ever so complicated "Three Blind Mice," and hits like "Hot Cross Buns" were topped off with a cat sticker. Rarr!!

i loved music because of her but i hated it also because i had such an ear for the songs that the theory was frightening. now, i'm suffering the consequences as the only Junior in a Freshman theory class. oh it's wonderful learning the theory of music instead of simply the art though. to every art there is a theory. if you don't know the theory then you'll never be a true artist of the art. again, this sounds like another blog topic. in conclusion, i say all of this to tell you that i will now be acquiring a collection of only Elvis and kitty cat stickers for my little piano students. maybe i'll even splurge on a few "Excellete" or "Cool Beans!" stickers like the ones you 5th grade teacher gave you when you were too cool for school. oh i can't wait. i'll keep you posted about the strong perfume and poofy hair. but Christmas is right around the corner... and i'm shy on my teacherish apple piano pins for my sweaters!

Praise God

spontaneous combustion!

Hello blog world!

i have to admit that i'm very new to this but i love writing and maybe you're interested! today, it hit me that i'm considered an adult in some people's eyes. i don't feel like an adult. my hands are still the same size, not wrinkly yet. i don't have to plan relaxation, and i haven't started wearing shoulder pads. but contrary to my own thoughts, i did read the newspaper yesterday and completely eliminate almost every article of clothing from high school this weekend. even good old planet exchange didn't take any of my clothes. they must have been pretty bad. but, upon realizing that i am getting older... i need to determine my style of music; what i want to be known for or at least something to strive for.

right now i am writing new songs while taking classes at MTSU in the school of music. the theory is kicking my butt because i have such an ear for music and now it's not such a blessing. it's such a challenge but i know it's where God wants me so He'll get me through. but i can't stop writing jazz and worship hand in hand. they're complete opposites! this is crazy! it's been fun but is it impossible to do both? i really want to write music that sounds like it's jazzy but it's worship. but, i don't know if it'll work because to me, jazz is romantic and worship music is a different kind of romance. sheesh, but i wish they could join in some sexy but pure way! maybe that's the problem with some Christian music. haa, don't worry though, i'm not getting my hopes up on creating a "sexy-christian"style. bump that.

i'm still left with one problem; to me, jazz is only 100% if it's not recorded. i only like to listen to jazz if it's on the radio or live because then it can sustain it's spontaneity. there's just something to be said about those old classic recordings of raw, live, uncaged talent... before computers. i want to do that but remain spontaneous. either because i'm naturally spontaneous or i'm the youngest of 5 girls and it's some warped bid for attention. but, spontaneity also adds to my musical identity crisis! i have to choose a style. one. for at least now. i guess we'll find out... keep singing