finially I found the tall trees of middle Tennessee

Finally! The search is over. The one complaint that I have with middle Tennessee is that here aren't enough tall trees. Prayer after prayer, the Lord brought the trees to me today! It's a secret location, for me and the Mr. I haven't met maybe; but i finally found them! They were so beautiful oh my goodness, I miss the shelter they provide. Where I grew up, there were so many trees that on some days I thought I would never see the sky again. You never saw squirrels on the ground because they were always in the trees! Bare with this Hippie moment in my life. Entertain yourself.

But today, on a little adventure that I had, yes a silent one (still on vocal rest) I had quite a scary experience. I was walking along this trail and carrying my survival kit consisting only of a crazy-creek chair, bible, notebook, camera, phone, and pen. If I was stranded I couldn't call anyone but the holy spirit, and for the hippie out there yes; my inner-being through my journal. But one thing's for certain, I would have a cushioned bottom and plenty of pictures! I do not like how this beautiful stream I found, with bugs, minnows, and birds spiraling around in sound... was so desolate. It was so beautiful but I didn't see or have anyone to enjoy it with... I want people to enjoy it!! I guess that's how God must feel.. He created it.. He wants us to enjoy it. It really humbles me to smell the leaves and the water instead of fast-food that does anything but digest fast. Yucko mucko!

Hardly anyone was back there, it was so undiscovered. We were created in the garden and the wilderness. Why do we hardly ever go there? I want to take a few years off and live in the grass, but then I realize I would be chicken all alone and the reputation of a hippie would never escape me. Maybe one day when there's a mighty man that wants to tag along. I'll keep my fingers crossed. But when we do venture outdoors, why do we have to bring a survival kit with us... granola, water, pillows, etc. Oh I think it's hilarious! Haa! God made us in the dirt and when we go back to our origin we bring ...props? As if we have to act out life in our natural inhabitance? Act out something that should be natural? Silly. It's like love almost, if we are Christians then love should come naturally because God is love, yes? But why do I feel like it's such an act sometimes. Oh, we're all very good at acting. Well, my brain's exploding. It was just so beautiful today.

The birds were not the usual brown, they were reds and blues. What a gift. They were happy birds too! Usually the birds I have met attack my cat; I do not enjoy them at all. I look up at the sky with my eyebrows crossed wishing I had a bee bee gun to shoot them down! Haa, not really but Pepper, she was eaten by a dog three years ago so the birds win! They always win because they get to fly away if they're in trouble!! Silly birds.

Anyways, besides the fact that I am the master of tangents... I had the urge to finish the trail that I found. Scared, and wearing inappropriate shoes, I walked along with my supplies and decided not to be scared of the unknown. (Failed gloriously by the end, oh please keep reading it's funny. )Even though the cracks and pops of the sticks and thorns around me made me jump a few times... I was going to go all the way back to the end of where ever this trail led! No matter what! And yes, I pretended I was in Nicaragua again, being chased by some animal, I wouldn't have to pretend long though. In a previous blog, I told you how my dreams come true... well today they did again. The trail got narrower and narrower, until all I saw was the red of the thin scrapes on my feet; all worth the adventure and story of course. My brain heard a growl; thinking it was only my imagination I kept walking, the stream getting wider and wider! I had to be close! You would think that I would be warned enough by the remnants of homeless people including an old broken TV, beer cans, and tires I saw but no, I must venture forth! I heard another growl that reflected images of the dog in "The Sand Lot" in my brain. Was it real? YES! Then, I heard a man's voice say, "who is that, who's back there? Go get it...Scruffy!" Of course I don't remember the actual dog's name but if I had a dog it would be named Scruffy! AAAAH I've never been so scared!!

Scruffy was chasing me!!! I was running, he kept chasing? What in the world was happening, my dreams came true again! Some wild dog that I'm sure had steam coming out of it's nostrils was chasing me and my crazy-creek chair, my camera, my phone, notebook... pretty hair-do or perfume couldn't do anything to help. For all I knew I was going to end up on unsolved mysteries. "Girl found dead on a trail attacked by Scruffy!" Hopefully from my car in the park- parking lot, they would recognize my love for Elvis from my Elvis license plate!

Oh but I ran, and ran and did not look back once! Finally Scruffy disappeared and I had a chance to laugh and catch my breath. What in the world was I supposed to think about this one? Wow. As soon as I came back to normal, I heard something crackling in the sticks near me. I laughed because whatever was in this brush, couldn't be as bad as the giant dog I had just escaped, no.. DEFEATED HA HA! Soon, my eyes fell upon none other than a black cat!! God's way of saying "Happy Halloween?" I don't know. But I didn't think it was too funny. The cat was very stereotypical and ran away like a scardy-cat. I've never met a cat that was different. They're so unoriginal!!

But, after my crazy but amazing adventure I began to ponder on the "Why?" Yes, I like to dig meaning out of it all. Every bit of life. Here we go.. are we running from our natural habitat? Our creator? How silly was I to run from a dog... it could have been a nice dog! But, I was afraid of the unseen. Where was my faith? Why was there a black cat? Where was my trust? Jesus was just reviving me when I was sitting my His stream and watching the minnows and birds and then the second things get scary.. or Scruffy haa.. I run! I'm terrified. What is your Scruffy? Ok that's a little silly but really, why are we so scared? Why are we so defeated? True story, I wish I was a bird so I could just be pretty and fly.. but that wouldn't be enough. That's ridiculous. Christ has given me strength and a purpose for living and it doesn't involve fear. Or Scruffy. It involves life. No cell-phone, computer, or hair-do will save anyone... ultimately. It's all about Jesus... pretty cool huh? Jesus.... what a man.

Be Alive

I'm on my second week of silence. Silence isn't so bad, espcially when you're blessed with friends who still talk to you. A few acquaintances have the tendency to shy away from me when I enter a room with my little dry erase board; but most treat me like a normal human being. A friend of mine thought that I was silently protesting for some sort of grand idea that I had, he's the only one with grand ideas. Other surrounding peers assume I am deaf. It's very interesting to see the variety of looks that I receive from different classmates. I don't bother with trying to convince them otherwise, I like to be alienated sometimes, espcially when I am not what someone's assuming. This whole month of silence has definitley ignited so many thoughts in my brain though. I hate that this world has come to a place where nothing is sacred; case in point, I'm currently displaying my private thoughts to you right now over the world wide web. However, I enjoy writing and sharing so here we are.

I've been spending more time alone than I every have in my life and it has become more of a friend than I thought. Since I'm not capable of being the social butterfly that I usually delight in being, no one really calls because I can't talk. Don't feel sorry for me though. There's no need for sympathy because the Lord has promised us in Proverbs 18:24- A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I've never had a brother before but I do have four sisters and I know the circle that encompases the word companion. The Lord surely keeps His word, He's close.

While the Lord is close and pressing on my heart, I feel very alive. I function when I'm at school. I function when I'm with friends. I function at work. I exist when I communicate. I function when I'm enjoying a meal.... but it isn't until I meditate and sign to the Lord that I feel alive. Revelation 3:1 states: I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead." What has fooled me this far in life? Why was I fooled that life is only found in fun, life is only found in company, food, music, smell, touch, taste, voice? I was lied to and I am so grateful that Christ has offered me the truth about life. Life is Christ. It soudns simple but it's not until you can see the things aroudn you as just simply strange that you will see life in Christ. My Lord has brought this old hymn to mind over the past month and it's haunted me. You can read it below.I encourage you to read it not as a song... someone telling you the truth.

This hymn, that unfortunately reminds me of a very bitter experience with my childhood church, has life in it. The line that simply states,"and the thigns of earth will grow strangly dim in the light of His glory and grace," has made more sense now than it ever will to me. I was just standing in my room, about to go to sleep and I thought about how many tedious times I wil climb into a bed and fall asleep in this lifetime. It's insain to think about day after day on the same land, and how quickly it passes. Everything around me is changing, inconsistent, and I'm so blessed. Don't misunderstand; I enjoy and appreciate the gift of life but there's so much more!! I have dreams and hopes for a family, a singing career, a home, maybe a dog? But, I just laugh at all this becasue there's so much more... there's life eternal!!! I pray that I never get used to life here becasue I'll never be satisfied. Praise God!!

TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS :Words & Music by Helen Lemmel.
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There is light when you look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free.

So turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

His word shall not fail you,
He promised,Believe Him and you will be well;
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell.

Just turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.