Be Alive

I'm on my second week of silence. Silence isn't so bad, espcially when you're blessed with friends who still talk to you. A few acquaintances have the tendency to shy away from me when I enter a room with my little dry erase board; but most treat me like a normal human being. A friend of mine thought that I was silently protesting for some sort of grand idea that I had, he's the only one with grand ideas. Other surrounding peers assume I am deaf. It's very interesting to see the variety of looks that I receive from different classmates. I don't bother with trying to convince them otherwise, I like to be alienated sometimes, espcially when I am not what someone's assuming. This whole month of silence has definitley ignited so many thoughts in my brain though. I hate that this world has come to a place where nothing is sacred; case in point, I'm currently displaying my private thoughts to you right now over the world wide web. However, I enjoy writing and sharing so here we are.

I've been spending more time alone than I every have in my life and it has become more of a friend than I thought. Since I'm not capable of being the social butterfly that I usually delight in being, no one really calls because I can't talk. Don't feel sorry for me though. There's no need for sympathy because the Lord has promised us in Proverbs 18:24- A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I've never had a brother before but I do have four sisters and I know the circle that encompases the word companion. The Lord surely keeps His word, He's close.

While the Lord is close and pressing on my heart, I feel very alive. I function when I'm at school. I function when I'm with friends. I function at work. I exist when I communicate. I function when I'm enjoying a meal.... but it isn't until I meditate and sign to the Lord that I feel alive. Revelation 3:1 states: I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead." What has fooled me this far in life? Why was I fooled that life is only found in fun, life is only found in company, food, music, smell, touch, taste, voice? I was lied to and I am so grateful that Christ has offered me the truth about life. Life is Christ. It soudns simple but it's not until you can see the things aroudn you as just simply strange that you will see life in Christ. My Lord has brought this old hymn to mind over the past month and it's haunted me. You can read it below.I encourage you to read it not as a song... someone telling you the truth.

This hymn, that unfortunately reminds me of a very bitter experience with my childhood church, has life in it. The line that simply states,"and the thigns of earth will grow strangly dim in the light of His glory and grace," has made more sense now than it ever will to me. I was just standing in my room, about to go to sleep and I thought about how many tedious times I wil climb into a bed and fall asleep in this lifetime. It's insain to think about day after day on the same land, and how quickly it passes. Everything around me is changing, inconsistent, and I'm so blessed. Don't misunderstand; I enjoy and appreciate the gift of life but there's so much more!! I have dreams and hopes for a family, a singing career, a home, maybe a dog? But, I just laugh at all this becasue there's so much more... there's life eternal!!! I pray that I never get used to life here becasue I'll never be satisfied. Praise God!!

TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS :Words & Music by Helen Lemmel.
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There is light when you look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free.

So turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

His word shall not fail you,
He promised,Believe Him and you will be well;
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell.

Just turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.